Originally written in Arabic in December 2007 and preserved from my personal diary.
This English version is an adaptation with the help of AI.
It is addressed to those I loved and wounded—love remains.
Damascus Rural –
To you, I offer my apology—
for my foolishness, my wild delirium,
for all my seas, my endless drifting,
for every turn that carried me away from you.
I offer my apology, knowing well
love’s final train has long since gone,
its body wrapped in splintered steel,
its limbs in fractures, bent and torn.
I know our past cannot return—
to face your eyes is now a war.
In every glance, your tears are spilled,
my conscience crucified once more.
My heart lies mute, a vacant wall,
no pulse, no echo, no response at all.
I offer my apology, though words
cannot erase the months of blame,
though love, like Christ, returns alone
as vision, dream, a borrowed name.
Though after this, you will not call me great,
nor speak my name the way you did—
I know that in your eyes I stand
a pirate fierce, a wanted threat,
whose sails were shredded by the wind
the moment victory was said.
I offer my apology, because I walked
into love’s epic unprepared,
my horses wild, my reign untrained,
my banners raised but poorly led.
I fell before the war began,
struck down by those who stood with me,
and gambled on your living heart—
and lost it at the table, clean.
I know—the hour’s gone, the door is closed.
Still…
I offer my apology.
لكِ ..أقدّم اعتذاري..
عن حماقاتي و جنوني..
عن بحاري وعن دواري
أقدّم اعتذاري..
وأعرفُ أن قطار الحبِّ فات
واكتسى جسمهُ بالكسورِ
وأنَ العودة إلى ماضينا
ضربٌ من المستحيلِ
وأنَّ النظرَ في عينيكِ .. نوعٌ من الشّجارِ
في كلِّ نظرةٍ أرى دموعكِ مسفوكةً ..
و مصلوباً ضميري
و أرى قلبي هامداً ، لا يستجيبُ كالجّدارِ
أقدم اعتذاري..
رغم أن الاعتذار
لا يمحي آثام الشّهورِ
و أنَّ حبُّكِ كالمسيح
فقط يعود بالخيالِ
و رغم أنكِ ، بعد اليوم
لن تصفيني بالكبيرِ
وأني سأكون بعينيكِ
مثل قرصانٍ خطيرِ
قرصانٌ تمزقت شراعي
بعد إعلان انتصاري
أقدّم اعتذاري..
لأني دخلت ملحمة الحبِّ
دون ترويض خيولي
و سقطتُ قبل الحربِ
على أيدي رجالي
و لأنِّي قامرتُ على قلبِكِ
و خسرت قلبَكِ في القمارِ
أعرف.. قد فات الآوانُ ..
لكنّي .. أقدم اعتذاري
Roumani Line 