Originally written in Arabic in December 2007 and preserved from my personal diary.
This English version is an adaptation created with the help of AI.
The poem was written long ago for someone I loved and hurt.
Over the years its meaning has grown wider — it now speaks to all the people I have loved, wounded, or lost along the way.
It remains, above all, an apology and a reminder that love can survive even where relationships cannot.
To you I apologize
for my madness and my vanity,
for all my seas and wandering far,
for every reckless storm I was.
I bring my apology again—
I know love’s train has left the plain.
Its body bruised, its steel undone,
its broken journey long since run.
I know the past will not return,
that road is sealed, that page is burned.
To meet your eyes is now a fight,
a quiet war in silent sight.
In every glance your tears appear,
my conscience crucified by fear.
My heart lies still, withdrawn and small—
unmoving like a stone-cold wall.
I bring my apology, though I know
no words can heal the months of woe.
Your love, like Christ, will only rise
in dreams that haunt the mind at night.
And after this you will not see
the man you once believed in me.
Within your eyes I’ll always be
a pirate cast upon the sea—
a pirate whose torn sails were blown
apart the day he claimed the throne.
I bring my apology because
I rushed into love’s epic cause
without first taming all my horses.
I fell before the war began,
defeated by my very men.
And I gambled with your living heart—
and lost that heart before the start.
I know… the hour has passed us by.
Still—
I apologize.
لكِ ..أقدّم اعتذاري..
عن حماقاتي و جنوني..
عن بحاري وعن دواري
أقدّم اعتذاري..
وأعرفُ أن قطار الحبِّ فات
واكتسى جسمهُ بالكسورِ
وأنَ العودة إلى ماضينا
ضربٌ من المستحيلِ
وأنَّ النظرَ في عينيكِ .. نوعٌ من الشّجارِ
في كلِّ نظرةٍ أرى دموعكِ مسفوكةً ..
و مصلوباً ضميري
و أرى قلبي هامداً ، لا يستجيبُ كالجّدارِ
أقدم اعتذاري..
رغم أن الاعتذار
لا يمحي آثام الشّهورِ
و أنَّ حبُّكِ كالمسيح
فقط يعود بالخيالِ
و رغم أنكِ ، بعد اليوم
لن تصفيني بالكبيرِ
وأني سأكون بعينيكِ
مثل قرصانٍ خطيرِ
قرصانٌ تمزقت شراعي
بعد إعلان انتصاري
أقدّم اعتذاري..
لأني دخلت ملحمة الحبِّ
دون ترويض خيولي
و سقطتُ قبل الحربِ
على أيدي رجالي
و لأنِّي قامرتُ على قلبِكِ
و خسرت قلبَكِ في القمارِ
أعرف.. قد فات الآوانُ ..
لكنّي .. أقدم اعتذاري
Roumani Line 